Grandmother's Nursery

We have done some rearranging and set up a little room as a nursery for the grandchildren.  The room is one of the smaller ones, with a gate at the door.  There are beautiful wood panelled walls.  There is a crib, toy box, little bike, and a big chair in the corner where I can read stories to the babies.

I want to find vintage photographs to put on some of the walls. We already have letters and such for educational purposes.  The room is a cozy, happy place where I will spend part of my day with my grandbabies. 

Of course I will still take them along with me when I am cleaning and cooking. They will be busily occupied in carriages or highchairs on the upper floors where my kitchen and parlour are set up.  They will happily watch and laugh while I vacuum.  We will also go out on the grounds of this estate to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine all through the spring and summer.

But a great part of our day, will be that joyful little nursery. This is where I will rock the babies and sing them lullabies.  This is where all my attention will be for them.  This is where I will not be busy with anything but the care and nurture of babies.

Grandmother's nursery is a happy place for the children.  This will be their domain and the place we will love to play.

In every home, there ought to be a quantity of time devoted entirely to children.  It goes by much too fast.  While it may seem like mother or grandmother is not doing anything at all, she is creating incredible memories and security in the hearts of the babies.

Blessings
Mrs. White

From the Archives -

Thrift does not have to mean serving rice and beans - Basic Cookery.

The Horse and Carriage ride with baby - Snowy Days at our Vermont Estate.

Remembering my Childhood - Manners Learned at the Finishing School.



Mrs. White's special book for Homemakers - "Mother's Book of Home Economics."




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Publishing at The Estate

Since late last fall, during rare moments of leisure, I have been working on a project with Mrs. Hultquist.  She is the author of "Dear Kitchen Saints."   Her marriage testimony first appeared in "Above Rubies" magazine in the year 2000.  She has been writing letters to homemakers for many years.  She has encouraged and inspired many wives and mothers at home.

This past December, we published her second book, "Dear Christmas Mothers."  I have read it many times and found that, no matter what time of year it is, I am always cheered on and ready to get up and make my home a happy place for my family. Her writing is endearing and full of old time wisdom.

In this Christmas book, Mrs. Hultquist mentions a cassette tape that was made nearly 20 years ago.  This was of 3 of her youngest 6 children, along with Connie and her husband, Jim.  She had taught the children to play a little bit of piano and wanted to make sure they knew the classic songs, like "Silent Night," and "Drummer Boy." She also taught them "Silver Bells;" "We Wish You a Merry Christmas;" and many more.

As readers of her books and writings have been very blessed by her work, we knew you would be curious to hear this recording.  With that in mind, and after much work by a team of us here at the Estate (Including Great- Grandpa's technical work), we were able to transfer this cassette tape onto a CD.  I chose a small selection from the recording and we created a final version for the public.  This Audio CD was just released and is available for sale.  Readers of "Dear Christmas Mothers" will love it.

You will hear the children singing, along with their parents. As you listen to the piano playing and the laughter of an everyday family enjoying home and being together, it will warm your heart.  It will inspire you to get out the old music books, and gather the family around while you create your very own homemade, old fashioned Christmas.

I realize April is an odd time to mention Christmas resources.  I want to explain my reasoning.  Very soon, we are expecting another little blessing here at our Estate.  I expect to be very busy helping with our new grandbaby's care, along with her Mother, and the full time care of my other grandchild.  I am also expecting another grandbaby shortly after that.  With all this excitement, I don't know what lies ahead.  Time will be limited. So I wanted to release the Christmas work before life here leaves me very little leisure.

I also realize Mother's Day is soon approaching.  Many Mothers would love to have Connie's "Dear Christmas Mothers" and the companion audio CD "Christmas at Connie's."  I know it will make an encouraging gift!

Audio CD:  "Christmas at Connie's - 1996  (The Home Recordings)

(The piano on the cover of the CD, is from Connie's home.)

Book:  "Dear Christmas Mothers" by Mrs. Connie Hultquist

(The framed picture on the cover, was taken from the Piano at the Hultquist Home.)

May you have a lovely Christmas, and I hope you enjoy these homemaking resources!



blessings
Mrs. White



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Home as a Little Christian School

In this modern day, the worldly culture has seeped into our homes.  It doesn't belong there.  Home should be a little school of Christian living.  Here is where children see Mother and Dad read the Bible, say prayers, and model good manners and morals.

We should also see great industry.  We should see cheerful and happy workers in Mother and Dad.  They set the example.  Dad often takes great pride in the care of the home and yard.  We may see him mowing the lawn, repairing porch steps, working on the car, and fixing screens.  He is busy with making the property look pleasant. He maintains the little christian school called "home."

Mother is busy with preparing meals.  She might be mending a torn curtain, ironing shirts, washing the floor, or baking pastries.  She does this cheerfully, happy to be doing a great work for the Lord in the little home.

Along the way, children are added to the family.  They walk beside the parents.  They help in the care and keeping of that little school at home.  They join in the prayers, the Bible reading, and happy chores.  Often young children find chores pleasant and fun because they get to do them with their parents, whom they love and admire.  They enjoy the company of the parents and want to do the work along with them.  Through this, their own good manners and morals are developed.

Home should be a place which is not a stumbling- block to sin. There should be no liquor, no drugs, no crimes happening (little thefts within the family), no lies, no scantily dressed residents, and no evil or inappropriate television shows. The family ought to take a stance against the world, and stand for a godly home with good policies and rules in the little school at home.  Mother and Dad must model this behavior and set the example.

There is a culture of  the world's school, in some homes.  This does not build the Christian family. Here is where the world's ideas and theories are paramount.  Modern parents often buy their children gadgets and gifts and trips to make them happy, but don't ask the children to work for such frivolity.   Bible reading or prayers don't happen because modern parents are often embarrassed by it, or their children roll their eyes when it is offered because this is not the kind of little school they attended.  It is foreign to them.  They were trained in worldliness, amusements, taking it easy, and enjoying being "young." 

Mother and Dad must set the patten in little Christian homes.  They must study Scripture and pray and immerse themselves in holy living.  This is what will bring a light of wisdom and beauty and godliness into the little school at home.   Family Altar, Sermons, Memorizing the Bible, Modesty, Patience and a Servant's heart should be modeled by the parents. This should be done every day.  This is what makes a happy, joyous home, when Mother and Dad have a heart, and a love, for the Christian School. It ought to be their life's work, their hobby, their everything.

This modern culture is heading to a great ruin.  Let our little homes be strong Christian Schools, and let us bring hope to a dying world, by living heavenward lives, even if our little school is the only one in our community. 

Blessings
Mrs. White


From the Archives:

How precious - Sweet Hours at Home.

This is so important - Godly Home, Marriage and Family.

Daily Life - Ideas for a Happy Home.




For Home-keeping Inspiration, order my book - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 




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Mother's Benevolent Society

One of the greatest opportunities for the homemaker is her charitable acts within the home.  If she can only delight in her calling, and lot in life, she can become a bright light of good deeds, noble virtue, and kindness to her family.

Sometimes when I would teach my children to do some little service, or help, for their siblings, they would perhaps frown or start to complain.  I would smile knowingly and say something like, "this will be a mitzvah.   It is a good deed, following the principles and commandments given by God, and He will reward you for it.  It is His work you are doing."  The term "mitzvah" was taught to my children when they were very young.  It is a Jewish term which is a keeping of the many commandments of God.  It has also been said that by doing a mitzvah, a bond is created by God and man.  There is a joy in it, a loving service for the Lord above, and that makes it precious. 

While we mothers are not always in the sweetest, holiest of moods, our main goal is to be kind hearted, and warmed by the presence of God.  This will pour through us, in our own actions and words.   In this way we are teaching our children the beauty of a life devoted to benevolence.

But what of the Mother's own actions?

It is very easy to become overwhelmed and even annoyed with all the work heaped upon us. It almost becomes a burden and a tremendous pressure that may crush us down if we let it.  Yielding to this work with a sweet temper is a herculean task.  It cannot be done instantly. It cannot even be done in our own strength.  But if we pray and read our Bibles, and sing our hymns and spend time in the holy worship of the Lord, He will give us the strength we need to do HIS work. . .  The main problem of yielding to our tasks is that we take on far more than we are capable of doing.  We often burden ourselves with impossible expectations and we all suffer because of it.

There is a simplicity in running a society of benevolence in the home.  There are basic tasks, and loving service, and little chores.  This slow-paced work should not be done in a hurry or under pressure.  These tasks should be done as unto the Lord.   The work can be done as many mitzvahs, with prayers and praises that continue to create a moment-by-moment bond to God.  This will bring us great peace and great joy that will fill us with a charitable, loving demeanor.  All who observe this, all who are the beneficiaries of this, will be warmed by this light and will carry on for us, and with us, for as long as we are in this society.

Mother,  will you become a member of the benevolent society? Will you set one up in your own home?    Will your influence and example affect your family and those around you with the beauty of holiness?

We must all remember this the next time a child whines, a dish is broken, the trash needs to be removed, someone is cranky, and when everyone forgets to do their own work.  We must remember to face these supposed burdens with a new excitement of doing mitzvahs and being charitable to those who have been placed in our care - including our guests, our children and our husbands.

Blessings
Mrs. White





For Home-keeping Inspiration, order my book - For The Love of Christian Homemaking.  (It includes the story of "The Mission House" which sums up mother's godly work at home.)



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Mother's Glory

One of the greatest delights of motherhood is taking pride in our young children. We work hard to bathe, feed, educate, train and clothe them.  They are like precious cherubs who delight us and give us joy.  We love and adore them.

Our most difficult task, however, is instilling virtue and moral values into their characters. We take them to Sunday school and Church events.  We read the Bible and pray with them. We make Bible time and family worship a daily habit, hoping and praying it will take root in their souls and give them the peace that passeth all understanding, and lead them to their eternal home.

As time goes on, our little ones get into the middle years and things get harder. They begin taking different paths and making childish decisions that cause them harm.  When they are teenagers and young adults, they may fall into a great many trials. And this will make a mother weep.  She may go into a deep despair and be heartbroken for many years.

The bravest of mothers will smile through this dark time, and bring as much heavenly light into the home as she possibly can. She will still seek holiness and will endure, knowing the dawn will soon come.

One great day, Mother's glory will shine forth.  The glory is -  finally realizing that it is God that molds and shapes a holy soul, and it is HE who gets the glory.  If the child had grown, with ease, under mothers dedicated care, without a fault or a trial, then her skills and talents would have received all the praise.  Nay, let it not be so.

That family  may have shined here on this earth, but the brighter reward is the holy warmth of the Lord which shaped the souls of mother's children.  It is the mothers tears and work and turmoil through the years that is praised. But the final result, the reality of Mother's glory, is the humble and broken gratefulness of seeing God work in their lives, of God stepping in and doing the miracles, and of God making holy citizens out of the descendants in Mother's house.

The glory is the Lord's.  Remember this the next time you fall into weeping for your children. 

Blessings
Mrs. White

A Good Reason for Not cleaning - Mother's Cleaning Recovery.

Teaching Unselfishness at Home - Just for Company.

Precious Memories - When Television was Special.




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Don't Let it Become a House of Sorrow

I was standing in my parlour, just standing there, in misery.  So many wonderful things were happening and then this.  It was another trial. One that brought tears of frustration and pain.  Mr. White and my boys helped us through it.  They were the protectors, and the problem solvers.  But I was still fearful and shaky.

John walked over to me. He is 15.  He opened his Bible and started to read Psalm 23.  Matt (19) had a hand on the door to go outside. He paused and listened.  Suddenly all was calm. None of it mattered anymore. We were comforted and soothed. We could move on.  We could forgive, offer grace and mercy, and let the Lord handle the trial.

Have you ever seen those medicine commercials for those suffering from depression? I often watch the people sitting in the chair, or not getting out of bed, and think, I would LOVE to do that! I would love to sit near  a window all day, staring out at the landscape, and not have to worry, or do anything.  And this is the temptation, when the whole world seems to be crashing down on us. However, these moments of suffering are passing. They don't last!  They are the dark night. We have to fight our way through them, using our weak flashlight (our positive attitude) until we make it to the dawn.

Every single home has troubles that come and go.  We will have calm times, and happy times, and joyful times.  Sadly, these may only last a few moments, but we have to hang on to them. We remember them, and reminisce about them, and bring them back, to get us through those other times.

Last night, I opened my hymnbook and sang with John. We sang, "Bringing in the Sheaves."  We sang it over and over again. Singing these old hymns remind us  that we will suffer in this life, but the reward will come.  Our work will last. It is important.  This is our comfort.

But please don't let the disappointments, financial worries, disagreements, or the sorrow for sins around us, bring down the gray hairs of sorrow on your homes.  Let them not be houses of mourning.  We have to do the work of smiling, laughing, joking and making light of things. We have to seek out the rainbows, and open the curtains to see the sunshine! 

Each moment, each morning, let all bitterness and grudges fall away. Start new with a smile and some love, and a heart of cheerful service.  Make your home a happy place, despite the trouble. If you do that, you will be the greatest wife and mother on this earth!

Blessings
Mrs. White


When Mr. White and I started our family, we took - A Vow of Poverty.

What My Aunt Taught Me - Manners Learned at the Finishing School.

Every Home Should Have - A Housewife on Duty.



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Laboring Despite Weariness

I have often marvelled at the reserves of energy my tired husband seems to have.   He will drink coffee in the early evening so he can be awake to finish a few more chores.  I couldn't understand why he didn't just sleep and forget the extra work. 

In the last few weeks, I have been overly busy with my older children. I hosted a baby shower, had guests in my home at all times of the day, went to several events, did heavy shopping, and extra cleaning.  Somehow, I got stronger and learned to pace myself enough to get it all done.   I pushed aside distractions and wouldn't allow myself to be pulled away from the task at hand. 

My goal is to make the most of my time as a mother. (How long do I really have left?)  I want to make events special, and my home a happy haven.  This all takes a tremendous amount of behind-the-scenes labor, which is seemingly unnoticed.    Lately, I have done this all cheerfully, and have been thrilled with my daily accomplishments.

I also noticed this working in other areas of our life.  I have daily Bible time with my teenage son (he is my last homeschool student).  John and I read two chapters at each reading.    However, sometimes life gets in the way, and our time is delayed.   Last night, it had gotten so late, I mentioned that perhaps we should read only one chapter?  He gave me such a look. Like I was a slacker (smiles). And said almost sternly, almost accusingly,  "Why can't we read two?"  I was grateful for his persistence and we read the required two chapters.  We were both proud of ourselves, realizing that if we had all day for other things, why on earth would we skip the daily religious disciplines?

My children watch Mr. White and I work hard on a daily basis. They see us quietly laboring without complaint.  They watch as we do difficult things despite weariness.  They also see us enjoy our rests and the fruit of our labor.  This example in life, and in religious duties, helps our children learn to work despite the hard times.  It teaches them to persevere, but to also come alongside and help us when we start failing. 

If I gave in to my "tiredness" and slept as much as I wish I could, what kind of life would I be portraying to those around me?    To work hard each day, and yes to earn my rest, is one of the best examples I can give to my children.

Blessings
Mrs. White

The Warmth of Home - The Light in the Window.

Remembering - The Blessing of Being a Half-Southern Mama.

Let All Godly Homes be like - The Mission House.


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The Painful Years of Motherhood

One of the hardest things to do, as a Mother, is to watch your grown children out in the world. You hear about their trials and their struggles and you beg them to come home. . .

I have two adult children who live in the city.  They have done great things and are doing well. But every so often, over the years, terrible things happen and it breaks my heart. I want to save them. I want to have them home again, and for them to start over, and not leave until they feel ready.  But it is not for me to say. . .

When the worst of stories come, and the tears fall, I pray myself to sleep.  . . I read my Bible for comfort and I wait. . .

They know they are welcome here with us. They know they have a place to come home to. But they are still struggling through things I cannot stop.   Sometimes, I devise plans and say, "Well, you can have your old room back and we will do all the old fun things and it will be wonderful."  I am sure they sigh. I know it sounds good for a visit, but not to live back as a child.  An adult can never go back to those safe, secure years of living with Mother and Dad.  Still, I keep offering.

I realize these occasional heartaches are rare.  I realize that most of the time, they are fine and doing well.  Just like real life.  There are good times and horrible times.  None of us can predict trouble. We can't make life all rosy and sweet.  It is impossible.  Rough days will come. And even though it rends mother's heart with sorrow, we cannot take on the burden.  We give it to Him who knows all things.  We say, "Lord, take care of our children.  Lord, they are having trouble right now. You are in charge of them. Watch. . . and Guard. . . and protect them. . .  and get us all through this."

So I sit here at the estate. I sit on the porch or by the window and I wait for the day when they will come home.  The day they say, "I've had enough of the world and I want to start over."

 Someday, I will see them walk down the lane. Perhaps it is to come home for good. Or maybe it is to tell me they have found a better path and all is wonderful.  Whatever the case may be, tears of joy and relief will fall.  And those painful years will fade away as a distant memory.

blessings
Mrs. White

For those sad times of Motherhood - Childhood Home as the Nursery.

Quiet occupations - How a Housewife Passes the Time.

A Picture of my Children when they were Little - Suppertime with Precious Helpers.


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The 15 Minute Cleaning Helper

I like to be fair about chores. When my children were little, they were each assigned certain tasks each day.  One was The Breakfast Hostess. Another was in charge of cooking supper.  And another had to keep the living room clean.  Each of my 5 children had specific work to do each day.

When I was growing up, our heavy cleaning happened on Saturday.  I was responsible for cleaning the bathtub, sweeping down the porch stairs and dusting the living room.  I also had daily responsibilities. But each of these jobs, divided between family members, kept our house fairly  neat and tidy.

No house is going to be clean all the time.  We will always have chores. We will always need to prepare food, clean our clothes, and sweep. But things can be kept decent when we have helpers.

As children get older, they have more outside activities and projects going on.  They are also less likely to want to hang around with Mom (smiles) and do housework all day.  So yesterday, I decided to call my teenage son over and tell him I needed him for just 15 minutes.  This was extra work, over and above his normal daily chores. 

I set the timer, and we worked quickly. He helped me sort old clothes, throw out extra clutter, do some laundry, and deep clean our dish-drainer.   I was delighted with the extra help and was happy to get a few piled up things accomplished.

Today, I plan to have another 15 minute cleaning burst with some of the children.  It makes things more fun.   I have a list of things I want cleaned and will put it on the kitchen table.  Each of us can pick and choose what we want to do. Once the work is finished, we are to put a check mark next to the job and then write down our initials (so we know who did what).  When I tried this stunt recently, my son did far more work than I did, and was gloating.

Another thing I like to do is have cleaning contests with my grown daughter.  (She lives 2 hours away from me.)  We call each other on the phone and then talk about what we are dreading for overdue housework.  Today, we decided to deep clean our bathrooms.  I am supposed to call her this afternoon and discuss our progress.  However, I had some extra energy early this morning and already finished!   

Finding creative ways to make housework fun is one of the greatest things we can do as mothers.

Other than doing a 15 minute cleaning job with my teenagers this afternoon, I think I deserve the rest of the day off from heavy cleaning duty.  I will just relax and plan a nice leisurely supper tonight.  I hope your day goes well!

Blessings
Mrs. White

Need encouragment on extreme thrift?  My favorite book is "We Had Everything but Money."


When I realized I was overworking my children - A Cheerful and Willing Housekeeper.

Looking Back - When Television was Special.

Remembering my childhood Home - Saturday Morning Chores.

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Creating a Pious Home

Mother has such a great responsibility on her shoulders. She is the conductor, of the atmosphere, of home life. She can have a worldly home or a pious home.

It all starts with eliminating distractions. What pulls her away from her job at home? And, further, what is making her too tired to complete this mission?

May we first start with her endurance?

When rising, she should exercise.   It is important to exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes a day. But this exercise must be the kind that causes sweating.  This will take away the sluggishness and tiredness because it helps remove toxins from the body.

She should not be dependent on processed foods or highly refined, sugary foods. They may be okay for occasional use, but must not be the foundation of her diet.  These will distract her mind, almost keep her at the mercy of food - induced mood swings and extreme tiredness.  She should strive to eat whole, natural foods.  These need not cost much. Even oatmeal, apples and brown rice are perfectly sufficient as an example of simple, nutritious foods.

May we move on to creating a pious atmosphere?

Of course she must keep up with her daily household chores. Our labor helps create a strong and noble character.  This is admirable and inspiring, even if no one seems to notice, or appreciate, what we do in the home.

She should discipline herself to limit, or, at times, avoid television, movies, too much computer and the like.   These should be for moments of recreation, but only when the housework and Bible time have been accomplished.

Is her Bible in a visible place? Is it easy to find for daily worship?  We are told that morning and evening devotions are excellent for the soul.   These are to be public (with the family). Then there ought to be a time of private study as well, either at midday, early morning, or late in the evening.

Keep hymn books, Bibles, Religious literature, and CDs of Sermons and good music available for family use.  Perhaps Mother can create a little corner, or section in the home, where these precious things can be kept? 

The most important thing Mother can do, is to daily work on creating and cultivating a Pious Home, but for herself.   Her job is not to force these things on the family, but to act out the love of Piety and slowly let go of the worldly, before her household. It is a daily war.  Her husband and children will see this in her. They will appreciate all the work she does.   If she strives to do this herself, the family will slowly follow and be encouraged by it.

A Pious Home comes from walking a disciplined, difficult path.  This must be a peaceful place. The peace comes from constant forgiveness and mercy to the frail souls of the family.  The Pious Home is not one of perfection.  It is not one without heartache.  But the piety is what draws each to the comfort of the Holy One, who will constantly renew them and sanctify them, drawing them closer and closer to their Eternal Rest.

Blessings
Mrs. White

What Goes On When they Sleep - Waking Up to a Cozy Kitchen.

Our Very Old House - Cleaning the Museum.

Keeping it Special - Classy Homemaking.


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Mother's Rest

Small children must have naps, and a bedtime.  They need a routine that helps protect their health, nerves, and well-being.  We take excellent care of our little ones, but spoil ourselves with too much indulgence.  In this modern world, we Mothers are sleeping less than ever. We are so occupied with a great many distractions.  This is taking away our ability to have sufficient rest.

When I was a child, we had never heard of VCRs or DVD players.  If we watched the one television set that was in our home (other than the small, portable for when someone was ill), we turned it off at a certain hour.  Our parents went to bed at the same time each night.  We children had our own bedtimes as well.

In Grandmother's day, the electricity was only used minimally. No one would dream of using the lights, or other items, late into the night unless there was some kind of emergency.  The radio (if the family had one) was shut off at a certain time.  Families would read together, visit, Knit, play the piano, or play games.   It used to be that when the streetlights came on, it was time to wind down the day. Families had dinner, clean up, and a short break in the living room. Bedtime soon followed.

Lately, I have been so guilty of not getting enough rest.  I am staying up far too late because there is so much to occupy my time and thoughts.  This is making me less productive!  This is taking away some peaceful joy.   Sufficient sleep is a necessity, and we mothers must have a routine, just like the children.

Blessings
Mrs. White

From the Archives:

A Living History - Homemaking Links the Generations.

Make it Look Like - The Maid Was Here.

Morning Preparations of the Heart - Getting Ready to Face the Family.


Order My Books:


For Home-keeping Inspiration, - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 

A 90 Day Bible Study, inspired by John Wesley, -  "Early Morning Revival Challenge" 






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Thinking about Mother's Day

With Mother's Day coming up, I have to start making plans. I want to make the day a little extra special for my family. We will go to church and then come home to a nice dinner. My grown children will not make it home, but I will hear from them by telephone. Things are so different when the children are older.

I will look through my keepsakes and see all the old mother's day notes from when they were little. I will remember Mother's Day past and be thankful for Mother's Day present.

It used to be that one could hear whispering and giggling in the other room while young ones tried to make breakfast and surprise me. They were so excited to give me handmade cards and gifts! They would also rally around Dad when he gave me some special present.

Years later, I learned the harsh reality of Mother's Day. It was a time to visit cemeteries when my dear Mother-in-law passed away. We visited her grave and then the grave of my grandmother. Many other visitors were there, somber and quiet, reflective and sad. They placed flowers at the resting places of their beloved Mothers.

Today, Mother's Day means more than ever. It is not a day to expect gifts, but a day to be thankful. It is a day to enjoy children and grandchildren and to find delight in their laughter and happiness. It is no longer all about "me." But about them.

   It is a day to make everyone else happy and be the gracious hostess Mother has always been known for - - the nurturer, the one who wants to see joy in her family. It is also a day to reflect on our jobs as Mothers, and to strive to be better.  We must learn that, even though it is precious to receive gifts and cards, it is far better to bring delight to their hearts.

So this year, I will be finding ways to surprise my children, making precious memories in their lives so they will always remember the living guardian angel their Mother tried to be.

Blessings
Mrs. White

A Precious Song that Makes me Cry - My Mother's Faith by Cynthia Clawson.

To Encourage the Weary One - A Mother's Legacy.

We Need More of These - Brave Mothers Who Walk into Walls.






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Mrs or Miss and Other Titles of Respect

In ballet class, the students are required to call their teacher "Miss" and then her first name. This shows classical respect. This was also common manners when I was a child. A Friend who visited was called "Miss Annie."

If it was a very close family friend, one who was beloved, she was given the title of "Aunt." I had a few "Aunts" who seemed like they were part of our family. I would not have ever dreamed of calling them by their first names without using the title "Aunt."  (My own children have a dearly loved "Uncle" who is my husband's closest friend.)

We had visitors from the south in summer. The small children would call me "Ma'am" even though I was their cousin. It was because I was their elder.  Have you ever heard a sweet child with a southern accent call an eleven year old, "Ma'am"? It is precious!  The children would never say a simple "no" or "yes" without a "Ma'am" or "Sir" when speaking to the older generation. It was common courtesy. (The adults responded the same way, as an example, by saying "Ma'am" and "Sir" as well.)

In those days, the world was family - centered and adult  - centered. Children were cherished, but were taught to give up a seat for an older person. When company came, they would gladly give up their bedroom for the guest. The children would sleep on "pallets," or blankets, on the living room floor. They were happy with this arrangement and knew no other way.  Children looked forward to the privildge of being grown and looked forward to growing up and getting to be an honored adult.

Children were also taught to "go play" during adult conversation. Parents and visitors would talk quietly about the news of the day, or some trial in the family, so as not to upset the innocence of children. This was part of respect and manners in the home. Children did not live in the adult world. They were honored and protected as children.

One of the greatest blessings in life was to earn the title of "Mrs."  Girls were called "Miss" until they married.  I remember being called "Miss Sharon" growing up and I loved it.  There was some dignity and elegance to the title of "Miss," just like in ballet class. If I was helping in Sunday School, the little students called  me "Miss," or "Ma'am." 

 But when I became "Mrs. White" I was honored and delighted.  Suddenly I had protection, in a sense. I had a covering and a very special reason to act accordingly. I had a husband who expected me to be a lady, and an honor to his name.   Women used to proudly address themselves as "Mrs." . . . When out in the stores, they would say hello to each other by showing respect to the family and husband by saying, "Hello Mrs. Smith! How are you today?"  It brought out the grace and dignity in all. (Of course, in close, personal visits, first names were used.)

When titles are used, it brings out gallantry in gentlemen and refinement in other women. In the old days, no one scoffed at titles like they do today. This is part of the reason we have an extremely casual self-centered society. No one wants to give place to respect and honor.


In the old days, Ladies dressed like ladies. They were in skirts and dresses, not sweatshirts and sweatpants. Women and Children dressed up to go to the store, the church or out visiting. We presented ourselves in our best because this brought out the best in others.   Ladies also gave their best to their families, at home, by dressing nicely.  They did not wear ratty, casual clothes. They would wear a comfortable, but pretty, house dress with an apron over it. This meant they cared about how they looked and wanted to please their families by looking sweet and pleasant. They were also ready to greet unexpected guests. This does not mean they were in their Sunday Best, but they looked nice and were not embarrassed when someone came by. This carried into their homes.

When we use Titles and Have Respect and know the place and the value of Manners, we not only look nice, but our homes look nice. We also treat others in a more civil, kind way. We respect the family, the institution of marriage and the love of home.

One of my greatest wishes is that they would do away with the term "Ms." because it brings confusion. Originally, we know that Miss means unmarried and Mrs. means married. Why then the term of "Ms."?   I would also love if unisex clothing went out of fashion.  I would love if our town and our state and our county realized the potential for traditional royalty and started to act accordingly. Truly this would trickle down to our children and succeeding generations and bring more pride and love for values and manners.

Recently I saw a picture of a modern family. It was a Husband and Wife with all their children. They were dressed up and smiling.  Even though they looked lovely, I could sense a casualness to them. I contrasted this with an early 1900's historic photograph (in black and white) of my grandfather when he was a small boy. His siblings and parents were also in the picture. The dignity and pride came through in their stature and poise. Their clothing was amazing, even though they were far from rich. This was the traditional family of which I speak. This is where titles and manners and customs of the old days brings out the richness of our heritage.

If only more ladies were proud of being called "Aunt" or "Miss" and thought it endearing. If only neighbors and friends were commonly called, with a sweet smile, "Mrs."  If only children were taught to give up their seat for their elders and learned to honor them with titles.  While the adults, likewise, protected their innocence and taught them by example.  Maybe we could recapture the joy of family and understand that royalty and dignity is possible, once again, in this great nation.

Blessings
Mrs. White

* One of the original sources for good manners is from classic  Emily Post's Etiquette book.

The Way of the Old Days - Building our Homes with Little Money.

A Precious Sermon - The Godly Home, Marriage and Family.

What do you Think? - Do We Really Care About our Homes?

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The Early Years of Homeschooling

When my five children were little, we spent much of our time at home. We managed to venture out only once a week. This was our big errand day. We would leave early in the morning, just after breakfast. We went to the post office to pay the bills and pick up an enormous box full of mail. (We all had numerous pen-pals, lots of home-published magazine subscriptions, and were producing our own home made publications, which brought us plenty of letters and orders.) We did all our grocery shopping just before heading home. But in the middle of all those errands, we went to our favorite place - the library.

The children all picked up cart loads of books to keep us occupied for the week.  The youngest children were delighted with The Berenstain Bears, or books by Lois Lowry. The older children (up to age 15) were selecting anything from biographies, historical documents, trends in fashion to the latest math textbooks. We also scoured the classic video department and came home with several films from the old days, like the Andy Hardy series, Fiddler on the Roof, For Me and My Gal, It's a Wonderful Life, and so many others. This, too, was part of their education.

But the best part of our day was coming home to a homemade lunch, and settling beside each other on the couches and floor to delight in other worlds by reading for hours.  This was the most important part of our home education.  The quiet, scholarly devotion to learning from books was invaluable. This was the slow-paced foundation of our academy at home.

Looking back, I dearly miss those early years of homeschooling. I really must find some classic literature to read to my last student (age 14) before our homeschooling years fade away entirely.

Blessings
Mrs. White

Passing on the Legacy  - A Homemaking Lesson Learned from Mother White.


A lovely way To start the morning with a Formal - Breakfast at Home.

Need help with Homeschooling? - Index of stories and ideas from our School at Home.

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Building a Strong Work Ethic in Our Children

Mr. White and I come from blue-collar, working class families in suburban towns south of Boston. We both grew up working around the house, working in the yard, and working in our neighborhoods.

I don't remember my parents giving me spending money. But I always remember working for those extra things I wanted in life. I used to walk at least one mile every day to elementary school, and then later to the bus stop for the higher level schools. When I was in high school, I walked several miles a day (yes, even in winter). This was part of the work ethic. This was part of learning not to depend on others for things we should be doing for ourselves. Of course, this was before we feared crime, as this current culture has to worry about. This was when neighbors knew neighbors, knew your parents and watched out for all the kids. This was when communities were stable and safe. It was before broken homes became rampant and people moved in and out of neighborhoods faster than we could get to know them.

There was a tiny store on the corner near our school. Everyday, we kids would stop in there to get a drink, an ice cream or a little candy. We would use our own money. This was earned babysitting, doing yard work,  and selling papers or magazine subscriptions.

When I got older, I worked at a few companies. This provided me with money for clothes, the movies, or eating at restaurants. All my friends worked for their money too. Even though we lived in a relatively wealthy community, we all had a strong work ethic. Our parents didn't give us our spending money. We all earned it.

When I met my husband, at the age of 17, I was working as a secretary in a marine insurance agency, right near the water. It was a lovely place and a great job. Clients would come in to pay their insurance premiums for their yachts. I was surrounded by wealth and privilege but I still worked for what I had, as we all did. None of us thought the rich clients had a free ride. We all knew they worked for what they had.

When I became engaged, I quit my job and started to prepare for a family of my own. Mr. White and I had a contract and I never had to work (at a job) again. Both of us still worked hard, but in different ways. Me at home, and him at a job. This example to our children was invaluable.

When we started to have children, we taught them the value of money and the value of hard work. They had ways of earning money around the house and helping me with any home-business I had undertaken for their sake. Part of homeschooling, over the years, was learning to be productive, and how to run a business.

Later, we bought a country store. Our children, from as young as 5 years old, worked to help us in our business. They had plenty of opportunities to earn money by working for us.  

When the children were very young, I gave them extra work around the house everyday. This was optional work and paid anywhere from 5 cents to 25 cents. They thought this was a fortune and eagerly earned their spending money. I still remember the pride Rachel (now 24, but then 5 years old) had when we walked into a little restaurant to pick up our take-out order. She wanted to buy herself a drink and used her own money. She looked at her little sister and said, "I worked hard for that money!" I could tell the lessons were sinking in.  And while others, at times, would scoff that I required the children to work, they cannot deny that my children all have a strong work ethic. These children are dependable and reliable and put in a good day's work.

This is the blue -collar working class. These are the kind of values that made America strong.  Sadly, children of today don't understand about delayed gratification. They want everything before they earn the money to buy it. This is dangerous to their own livelihood and for our society.  One of the greatest things we mothers can teach our children, is to wait and to work and to save, and then to spend. But never before the money is earned. . . Never.

Blessings
Mrs. White


The Lovely Things We Do At Home - Domestic Occupations.

A Little Visit - The Parlour in the Morning.

You Don't Have to Be Rich - The Humble Home.




For Home-keeping Inspiration, order my book - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 









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Family Comfort in the Evening Hours

At the end of the day, the family gathers together for a meal and to share adventures. Sometimes the children will laugh and entertain the others. Or, there will be older teens who talk about their work day.

In old time humble homes, everyone would gather around a vintage radio and listen to the news or a program. Mother would knit or do some mending. Father might be smoking a pipe or doing a little whittling. The children might have jacks to play on the floor, or a few handmade toys. 

In other homes, someone would play the piano and all would gather round to sing. Or perhaps one could hear the sound of a banjo as the family sits on the porch playing some old country music and singing along.

In later years, with the invention of record players, the family could hear crooners like Frank Sinatra, and Bing Crosby.

Next, there were television sets where programs like Burns and Allen were broadcast.  Families would eat their dinner at the table and then settle down to enjoy a show together.

Families play board games, cards and checkers. This is a wonderful form of togetherness which calms and soothes the hearts of weary souls.

In these days, we have modern radios with Christian stations for sermons, music, talk and advertisements. These are also heard on car radios as we travel on errands or trips. We also have CD players to hear modern music that we enjoy.

Some kind of entertainment goes on each night in most homes. This comforts and cheers the family at the end of a long, hard day.

It is something we can strive to create - an atmosphere of happiness, and entertainment with our families.

We should look forward to the setting of the sun, as we toil on with our work, as the best part of the day - the night time for rest and reward for our daytime labors.

Isn't this just like our earthly life as the daytime, and eternal life (at death) - as our night-time?

Blessings
Mrs. White


From the Archives:

Good propaganda in - Kitchen Sermons.

Just like the old days - Creating a 1950's - like Childhood.

Don't make the children do all the work - A Cheerful and Willing Housekeeper.



Order My Books:


For Home-keeping Inspiration, - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 

A 90 Day Bible Study, inspired by John Wesley, -  "Early Morning Revival Challenge" 






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Who Will Help Mother?

I cannot tell you how many times I've asked my children to help me with my projects and my chores. When they were little, they were delighted. But when they got older, they had their own projects, activities and agendas. This is something I have to constantly remind myself - the importance of enjoying my daily duties.

While children should certainly have their own chores, Mother needs to have her own work as well. Have you ever watched Ma Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie?  Mary and Laura were busy with school. They also had homework in the evenings. But they had specific tasks to do at home - and then they were done! Mother didn't try to slave-drive them all day long. No, she did her own work, just like Pa did his.

If I am busy in the kitchen, or working in the living room, or doing laundry, there is often a teenager nearby talking to me about his day. If I said to my teens, "Hey, can you help me with that?" Don't you think they'd find something else to do, and fast?   (smiles)   It's not that they don't want to help me, but they want to see Mother busy with her own responsibilities.  They don't want to think that Mother is always trying to get out of her chores. It sets a bad example. They want to see Mother diligent and content with her daily agenda.

Yesterday, I cleaned and baked. I had plenty of time for leisure. I read for a while, did some writing, and then did the laundry. I did not ask anyone the age-old, weary question, "Will someone please help me??"

But if I were sick, or not able-bodied, the family would certainly step in and do my work for me. If I had a baby, or a toddler who needed most of my time, the family chores would fall more heavily on the rest of the family, so I could be free to care for the younger ones. But when Mother doesn't have those kinds of things going on, she would do well to get into the habit of learning to love her own work and be about her own household business.


Blessings
Mrs. White

Motivation - Domestic Incentives.

The Importance of A Wife Who Does Not Complain.

We Need to Keep  - A Vision of Home.



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A Mother of Sinners

It is a somber and sad day when Mother realizes her children are sinners. There is something called "The Depravity of Man" - and a "sin nature." These are things our children will fight against, each day, for the rest of their lives. It causes them great pain and suffering.  But it hurts Mom the most. . .

The sad realization is when you have young adults and teenagers who try so hard to walk the road of righteousness, but keep getting distracted by the world. They come home full of adventurous experiences - some thrilling, some heartbreaking - but there is sadness in their eyes and marks from the thorns.  There is no pure holiness in them, like you once thought there would be, when they were baby-cherubs in your eyes.  There is dirt and filth because. . frankly. . . your children have been dangerously playing in the world. And it will tear your heart out. . .

Others will see and mock. They are like closet-pharisees who think they are above depravity. This is the saddest thing of all - when your fellow Christian man gives up on your family and walks away - as if YOU, as the mother, did something wrong.

But I know a secret. . .

It is to never give up. I learned this in profound ways from some very precious Mothers - Erma, Emma and Edith:

Emma  (1950's)

Emma was Old Order Amish and became a widow at a young age. She was left with six children to raise, alone at home, and with the help of her Amish community.  She watched as young people experimented with the rules and "English" world around them. She was terrified as they did things that were dangerous to their souls. She prayed in secret and received constant comfort and reassurance from The Master.  But most of her children left the church to join more progressive churches.  The culture was rapidly changing and it was seeping into the Amish world.  One of the important things I learned from Emma was this:

She did not try to convince her children of the old ways - she lived it.  When her teenagers and young adults were living questionable lives, she let it all play out and let them learn their lessons. Why did she do this? She knew the Holy Spirit was working in their lives and God was in control. While she certainly advised them and got help and support from the elders, her daily practice as a mother was to let them learn to make decisions for themselves so they could grow.  The hardest lesson I learned from Emma was that, since we live in a rapidly decaying culture, our children are not always going to follow our old paths. They are facing new challenges in each generation - new temptations - and living in a culture that we never would have imagined.  Through it all, and despite the pain, she knew how to remain Amish. The lesson: stand fast in your faith, mother, regardless of the path your children take.

 Erma   (1960's)

In Erma's time, there was free love. Teenagers were spitting on the ground their parents walked on, and forsaking traditional family. They were shacking up and doing all manner of drugs. They hated our country and hated decency. They brought a downfall of horror to our society. When they did this, they only said, "peace," but they were deluded.

Erma had an amazing sense of humor, as a mother. She was a beloved columnist who shared her life with millions of readers. She encouraged them and made them laugh, even when they wanted to cry. Through all the pain and frustration of raising her children to be decent, God fearing citizens, she did the most important thing of all - she did not give up.


 Edith   (1970's)

As the war on our culture raged, feminism (or as some call, it - nazi-feminism) was raging strong. Edith, the traditional housewife, who was dedicated to her family, putting them first above all things - had a feminist daughter and a liberal son-in-law. The amazing thing about Edith is that she stayed who she was. She did not bend to the will of society - she did not become like her daughter - she remained a steadfast example of home, family and motherhood - and she did it all without pushing her views on anyone. She did it in silence. Her example meant more to a nation, on that television screen, even though the show was meant to belittle her. Even Erma loved her and said the world needed more Ediths.


No matter what we see in our children, on the surface, we have no idea what kind of work God is doing behind the scenes. He is laying the groundwork for their future. He is allowing them to wallow in things in order to gain experience in life, and to know and understand heartache. He is teaching them things we could never teach them. So, dear Mother of sinners, no matter what is going on in the lives of your children, remember this - a virtuous godly mother who is unflinching in her faith, while full of flaws herself, is the greatest testimony to her children than any words you could utter. Mother, ignore the pharisees, and stay strong and brave. In the very end, your children will rise up and call you blessed. 

"Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is." Jeremiah 17:7

Blessings
Mrs. White

A Mission of Mercy - The Sum of Godly Motherhood.

Very, very hard times - Trouble with Teenagers.

Homeschooling - How My Children Learned Social Skills.



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