Nobody Wants to Clean a Messy House

Cleaning to me is part of decorating. I go through the house and tidy things up and make them look pleasant to the eyes.  Home decorating is a way to create a nice atmosphere for the family.  This is done without money. It is done everyday when the chairs are made neat and pillows are fluffed. It is when furniture polish makes surfaces bright and gleaming in the afternoon sun.  It creates an ambiance.

I clean throughout the day, or else things will get out of control. I clean whenever I see something out of place, as I walk by the way. (Of course, stopping at a certain hour to end the day's work and enjoy some leisurely rest.)  I clean a neat home, but of course the work is a little harder at mealtime when the most work is needed to be done.

But nobody wants to clean a mess.

We have all walked into an unattended kitchen and seen spills and crumbs and dishes all over the place.  This is a messy mess and no one wants to go in there.  Very often this happens when it has been left to the care of children or teenagers.  They just don't have the experience to keep things nice and keep messes decent.

We have also seen a child's bedroom that looked like a tornado had been there.   No housekeeper would walk in there without sighing.  This is not a pleasant type of cleaning!  So we call in the child and we put them through a training session. I love to make these humorous.  I will say to the child, "I wonder what happened in here?"  To which the child will shrug and look around to survey the damage. It is almost like the child was oblivious to the mess until mother pointed it out.  I smile and say, "Well, let's clean this together."  Do you know why I don't demand the child do it alone? Because that would be unfair and too much. It is obvious that help is needed to get things under control.  I also use this time to re-teach how to do the work.  And lecture about cleanliness. This not only gets the message through, but sometimes bores the child so much they would rather have the room kept clean than have mother talk about cleaning for hours! (gentle smiles)

I will show the child how to make the bed by taking all the bedding and throw it on the floor. I will put on a sheet, arrange the pillow and make the bed.  I will talk while I do it, as if I am sharing how to make a meal from a recipe.  When it looks nice and neat, I will say something like, "See? Doesn't that look better?"  When the child's face brightens (probably because he thinks he got out of making his own bed), I will say, "Now it's your turn." I will take all the bedding and throw it back on the floor. Then I will watch and direct while the child remakes his own bed. 

Next we go to the bureau drawers. I start with one drawer.  We sort the junk from the clothes and fold and make things neat. Then I take it all back out and put it on the floor. The child redoes each drawer on his own, just like we made the bed. 

We go on to the bookcase, the floor, and all through the room until I have shown how to clean it all, and the child has redone my work. 

Granted, I must have time to do all this, and it only happens a couple of times a year.  But once the training session is done, that child does not want to hear me say, on another day, "Hey, do you want me to help you clean your room?"  (smiles)  Because now they have learned that it is quicker and easier to just do it on their own.

We can do this with any room in the house - the kitchen, the living room. We can re-do jobs with the children until they are ready to take on the chores responsibly and on their own.  Children should be taught to spend between one and two hours a day in personal cleanliness and chores. This is something they will have to do all through their lives.

However, sometimes when we mothers are too overwhelmed, sick, or tired, we might just walk into one of those messy rooms, sigh, and say we will work on it later.  We will just have to make that mess look pretty, rest up, and then get the help from the family to retrain and make the home look nice again.

This, of course, is the training ground for children to gain an excellent work ethic.  These skills we teach, to have a clean home where their own labor made it happen, is what helps build character.

Blessings
Mrs. White

From the Archives -

Mother's Christian Example in the Home - The last Witness of an Era.

Pleasant Times - The Parlour in the Morning.

Motherhood - What I Learned from My Husband's Weariness.




Mrs. White's special book for Homemakers - "Mother's Book of Home Economics."




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War Slogans for a Clean House

I sat some of my teens down this week and asked for help. I needed artwork done. I handed out paper, pencils and crayons.  (That's all we had on hand).  I wrote up a little motivational paper and said I needed it turned into big pages of artwork.

My idea was to motivate the grown children to willingly help more around the house.  What I wrote sounded like a "war slogan" for the homefront.   Here is what my paper said:

"Take Pride in Our Home!

"Do Your Share!"

I thought my teenagers would do something basic and pretty. But they surprised me!

Within 30 minutes, they had created large comic strips, complete with cartoon characters.  One depicted "Dean" who had a full time job, and still came home to clean his house. He urged readers to clean too!

Next, there was "Stanley" who wore glasses and a nice shirt and tie.  He thought very poorly about people who didn't do dishes or sweep the floors. He pointed out at his audience and demanded they get up and work around the house.

I taped the comics around the kitchen and hallways. They were so entertaining.  One of the grown children woke up late and saw them! "What's with all the comics?" He asked with a smile. 

When children are little, it is easy to get a routine of chores established. But as time changes and seasons come and go, we have to constantly adjust our homemaking tasks to meet the needs of a growing family.  When we have teenagers and young adults living at home, it is hard to avoid feel like a nag, wanting them to help more.  Motivation and fun cleaning games are a wonderful way to make a transition into a new routine of chores.

I have a new plan in place, and new chore assignments for each of my children.  We will continue to make war slogans for cleaning, to keep things light and fun here at home.  I love cleaning and housekeeping. I want to pass on that same delight to my children through creative motivation.

blessings
Mrs. White


From the Archives:

When Mr. White carried me into the house - Walking the Grounds with Mister.

Won't You Be One of these? - A Good Little Housewife.

A Very Special Place - The Comfort of a Dressing Room. 




For Home-keeping Inspiration, order my book - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 




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Home as a Little Christian School

In this modern day, the worldly culture has seeped into our homes.  It doesn't belong there.  Home should be a little school of Christian living.  Here is where children see Mother and Dad read the Bible, say prayers, and model good manners and morals.

We should also see great industry.  We should see cheerful and happy workers in Mother and Dad.  They set the example.  Dad often takes great pride in the care of the home and yard.  We may see him mowing the lawn, repairing porch steps, working on the car, and fixing screens.  He is busy with making the property look pleasant. He maintains the little christian school called "home."

Mother is busy with preparing meals.  She might be mending a torn curtain, ironing shirts, washing the floor, or baking pastries.  She does this cheerfully, happy to be doing a great work for the Lord in the little home.

Along the way, children are added to the family.  They walk beside the parents.  They help in the care and keeping of that little school at home.  They join in the prayers, the Bible reading, and happy chores.  Often young children find chores pleasant and fun because they get to do them with their parents, whom they love and admire.  They enjoy the company of the parents and want to do the work along with them.  Through this, their own good manners and morals are developed.

Home should be a place which is not a stumbling- block to sin. There should be no liquor, no drugs, no crimes happening (little thefts within the family), no lies, no scantily dressed residents, and no evil or inappropriate television shows. The family ought to take a stance against the world, and stand for a godly home with good policies and rules in the little school at home.  Mother and Dad must model this behavior and set the example.

There is a culture of  the world's school, in some homes.  This does not build the Christian family. Here is where the world's ideas and theories are paramount.  Modern parents often buy their children gadgets and gifts and trips to make them happy, but don't ask the children to work for such frivolity.   Bible reading or prayers don't happen because modern parents are often embarrassed by it, or their children roll their eyes when it is offered because this is not the kind of little school they attended.  It is foreign to them.  They were trained in worldliness, amusements, taking it easy, and enjoying being "young." 

Mother and Dad must set the patten in little Christian homes.  They must study Scripture and pray and immerse themselves in holy living.  This is what will bring a light of wisdom and beauty and godliness into the little school at home.   Family Altar, Sermons, Memorizing the Bible, Modesty, Patience and a Servant's heart should be modeled by the parents. This should be done every day.  This is what makes a happy, joyous home, when Mother and Dad have a heart, and a love, for the Christian School. It ought to be their life's work, their hobby, their everything.

This modern culture is heading to a great ruin.  Let our little homes be strong Christian Schools, and let us bring hope to a dying world, by living heavenward lives, even if our little school is the only one in our community. 

Blessings
Mrs. White


From the Archives:

How precious - Sweet Hours at Home.

This is so important - Godly Home, Marriage and Family.

Daily Life - Ideas for a Happy Home.




For Home-keeping Inspiration, order my book - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 




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Corrie ten Boom - In My Father's House

Corrie ten Boom was one of the most inspiring people of our time.  Her faith in God was incredible. She was called of Him to endure unbelievable pain and trials.  Through it all, she was a light of hope and warmth, as an ambassador of the Kingdom of God.

Corrie is best known for her book, "The Hiding Place."  This is about the holocaust and the concentration camps. Her family hid Jewish people in their home, to protect them from the Nazis.  Her family ended up in the camps.  She was the only one from her family to survive the prison camps.  She later became a "tramp for the Lord" (as one of her books is titled).  She travelled and spoke about her faith and encouraged others.

I have read, and owned, several of Corrie's books over the years.  However, old books tend to fall apart over time and need to be replaced.  The content of some books are so valuable, you want to get a new edition and take care of it as long as possible.  "In My Father's House" by Corrie, is one of those books. 

Lighthouse Trails Publishing has come out with a beautiful  new edition of Corrie's book.  This edition includes more than 50 photographs from Corrie's childhood and home.  "In My Father's House" is about her growing up years. It shows the foundation of her training and experiences that made her the strong, godly woman she was, which enabled her to endure the War and the aftermath. 

In this beautiful edition, you will read about her loving parents, her three aunts, her brother and sisters.  You will read about her father's life as a watchmaker and repairman in Holland.   You will read about little Corrie's concern for the lost souls in her town, and how her parents lovingly guided her to have compassion for others.  

I loved reading about her Mama! What a beautiful and wise, dear lady!  She was an incredible mother and an excellent wife.  Her father was also a very hardworking, patient, wise man. Corrie's memories of home life are instructive and precious.

The pictures of Corrie and her siblings are endearing.  I loved seeing her old home and the furnishings.  If you get a chance, look at the back cover of the book and see the gorgeous picture of sweet, little Corrie as a child.  It will give you a gratefulness to be a mother of your own children. It will encourage you to tenderly care for your own babies and raise them up to do God's work in this difficult world.

* This is one of those books I plan to re-read at least once each year. *



In My Father's House by Corrie ten Boom
Lighthouse Trails Publishing
ISBN # 978-0-9846366-2-4
(This is the beautiful 2011 edition with the family photographs.  It includes Scripture quotes that "Father ten Boom shared with his wife and children.")



* Disclosure - I received this item for review purposes.*


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Basic Cookery

I studied cooking in Home Economics classes when I was a teenager. My mother also gave me freedom in her kitchen. I would look through her cookbook and bake special treats when the pantry ran low.  While Mom did most of the cooking, I was happy cleaning and cooking whenever I got the chance.

In my first home, I enjoyed making meals for my husband.  I still remember our first trip to the local supermarket.  We were so excited to pick out our own groceries, together.  I made his breakfast, packed his lunch, and made his dinner each night.  With a small household, and a decent income from his job, we didn't have much to worry about financially.

As more and more children came into the home, I had to learn to make many things from scratch, with the ingredients I had on hand.  I remember going to the local library and finding all kinds of old cookbooks.  I borrowed them, and found recipes that would work well for my family.   Many of these recipes (like breads and stews) were made so many times that I memorized them.  If I really loved a borrowed cookbook, I would save up and buy my own copy.

Frugal, or thrifty, cooking is a valuable skill for the housewife.  People often share recipes, which is good.  However, many families have different tastes.  Some have allergies.  We also live in different climates and have a different cultural basis for what we eat.   In the Boston area, fresh lobster and clam chowder is common, whereas, they may not be staple menu items in a little town in Idaho.    Restaurants in Florida serve the most delicious fresh orange juice you could ever taste!  They are known for their oranges and have them in abundance.   We have to make use of what is available and low cost, in our area.  It is important to learn how to adjust recipes to work in our own kitchens.

It is a common cliché for mothers to save money by serving "rice and beans."   This might work for many, but not in my house.  One cannot always save money by doing what the masses suggest.  We have to remember to serve foods that our own family will enjoy.  Cooking basic foods from scratch will save money.  Serving carefully portioned- sized- meals and storing leftovers will also save money.  

To learn basic cooking skills my favorite book is The Good Housekeeping Illustrated Cookbook.  It boasts 1,400 recipes!  The pictures are stunning and are set up almost encyclopedia - like.   My children used to love to look at all the pictures and say, "Let's make this one!"   You will learn to make easy breads, muffins, meats, and all kinds of dinners and desserts.  Once you learn the basics of these foundational recipes, you can start adjusting ingredients to meet the needs of your family. 

Basic cooking also means you have freedom from the supermarket sales ads.  Certainly buy hamburger or chicken only when they are priced reasonably.  But you can make so many different things with them. The store will recommend processed foods to go with the meats. Cooking from scratch means we don't need those items. You will no longer be a slave to what is on sale.

 When we buy hamburger in a "family sized" package, I take it home and divide it up into smaller portions.  I then put each meal's serving in a gallon Ziploc bag and freeze it.   Even though we have a lot of people in this house, I only cook with that small amount of meat. It is the ingredients that go with it, that make the meal stretch - the vegetables, the bread, etc.   I love the older cookbooks from the 1960's that have old menus that go along with the recipes. This was from a time when portion sizes were much smaller than those of today.  The fun in the dinners had a lot to do with the beverages, the way the vegetables were prepared, and the lovely way in which it was all presented. 

Nourishment was key, and homemade was the most nourishing of all.

I realize we mothers have days of being exhausted and can't do as much as we would like.  But when you are in the habit of cutting and washing vegetables for stew, or whipping up a quick batch of muffins, making food from scratch can be a valuable part of the daily routine.  When all my children were little, I had lots of helpers.  We set to work at the big kitchen table.  I had children rolling out dough, or peeling vegetables.   The bigger children were at the counter or stove stirring sauces, or handling the hot foods, while the safe work was done at the table. Meal preparation was a happy, pleasant way to pass the time with small children.   To them, it was playing!  It got the work done, and the children enjoyed it.  They also loved taking turns serving the food and giggling and visiting at the table.

These days,  I have a barstool in my kitchen. I often sit near the counter to wash dishes, or to make biscuits.  I also have my kitchen radio nearby to hear CDs of gospel music or sermons.  Often my grandbaby is in the highchair watching me work. He plays with bowls and lids and has a wonderful time.  The kitchen can be a happy place to be, making frugal cooking a pleasant part of life.


Blessings
Mrs. White

From the Archives:

Remembering my Childhood - When Television was Special.

The beauty of a formal morning table - Breakfast at Home.

Mother's work - The Pleasant Task of Cleaning.



Order My Books:


For Home-keeping Inspiration, - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 

A 90 Day Bible Study, inspired by John Wesley, -  "Early Morning Revival Challenge" 






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The Other Side of Motherhood

We live in a generation where everything seems to happen instantly. People can often make things work fast, or right away. Things are forced to happen "on time," in many cases. This takes away our patience, and even our attention span.  Sadly, over the last few decades, this has trickled down to the expectations of mothers.

We do our best to raise our children to be good, moral citizens.  We want them to produce the fruit from our years of hard work in teaching and training them.  We expect them to make the right choices and the right decisions.  This shows us their maturity and wisdom.  Yet, it isn't really about us.  It is about God's timing and God's will.

In the old days, Mothers knew to wait out the seasons and the phases.  They knew there was a point to stand back and let young ones make decisions. They knew to let the children face consequences; in order to learn the lessons and to grow and mature. 

This became very clear to me the other night.  Some of my older children came up with an idea.  I was tired and said I couldn't help.  But I was there to observe as the events unfolded. I knew what the result would be. I was excited about the lesson they were going to learn.  This time, no matter how tempted I was to interfere, or make their lives easier (thinking they had endured enough and had done enough), I backed off and let it all happen without me.  I did not give advice.  I did not take over the burden.  I had tea, went to bed early, enjoyed a quiet night, and I prayed for them.  The following morning, the results were in.  They learned the lesson!  They got the advice from the experience, instead of from my words!!  It worked!   I was delighted!

Many years ago, I read something about Mrs. John R. Rice (the wife of an evangelist and mother of six children).  She talked about her  children having meaningful work in the home.   She said chores taught them important lessons.  One day, one of her girls was very tired from a hard day at school and work.  But it was her night to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen.  Mrs. Rice was so tempted to go in there and say, "You go rest. You did enough today."  But she stayed back.  She said she wouldn't dare take away that lesson!    Her wisdom astounds me. 

Mothers, in this generation,  have spent much of our years interfering with God's lessons for our children. We have gone in there and tried to "help" or "ease" things.    This is part of control.  This is part of impatience!

When we observe the lives of godly grandmothers, we see a peaceful patience, and a knowing compassion for the young.  They don't give up easily on the youth of today!  They know there are phases, and trials, and mistakes that must happen to bring forth a mature adult.

Lately, I have seen my grown children come out of some tough years.  I have seen a "light" of maturity and peace coming from their lives and actions.  There are difficult teen years and young adult years for most (if not all) children.  But once they pass over that rugged hill and rough patch, they will emerge as an incredible blessing to their mothers.

The other side of motherhood, is from the grandmothers.  We look back over the years and see how quickly it all really happened.  We see patterns and lessons and trials.  But none of those "moments," or phases, lasted too long.   Some took hours, some months, and yes, some took years, but the children made it through.   We mothers of today, must stand back and have great patience and faith.  We must trust our prayers to reach the Master, and know that it will be okay in the end.

Blessings
Mrs. White



From the Archives:


This works Beautifully - Prayers Which Cannot Be Uttered.

When it gets Difficult - Forgotten Kindness in Marriage.

The Message we let into our homes - Choose Your Propaganda.



Order My Books:


For Home-keeping Inspiration, - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 

A 90 Day Bible Study, inspired by John Wesley, -  "Early Morning Revival Challenge" 






An Invitation - Subscribe to The Legacy of Home and have it delivered directly to your email. 

Homeschooling with Grandbaby

We sat in the parlour in our old antique chairs.  Baby was in his carriage.  My teenage student was beside me.  Baby had a little toy to keep him occupied.  The children listened while I read, "The Declaration of Independence."  John (15) and I discussed a little about our nation's history and the characters of the signers.

Soon it was time for a Math test.  John sat at the kitchen table and started his test.  Baby and I went into an adjoining room so John could have quiet.  I could still see him through the doorway.

I set up baby's carriage near my chair and pulled out a fun game, "Phonics Firefly."  This light-up game teaches letters, sounds, spelling and the alphabet song.  I went through all the games with him. He heard the letters and sounds over and over again. He was intrigued! 

Later, I read colorful books to baby. I enjoy the stories and love to have a young one to read to again.  . . Baby listened to our family worship time (Bible reading, hymns, etc.).

We walked the gardens at our Vermont Estate and were delighted to see strawberries ready to be picked.  We noticed 2 of the rosebushes are showing white and yellow roses!  Every so often baby hugs me, and pauses to look at me with a smile.

Then I walked baby over to the high flagpole on the front property.  He looked up to see the American Flag waving in the wind. . .  Baby sighs.  . . It is so precious when Baby sighs.

Regular life is mixed in with our homeschooling hours.  There are meals to cook and dishes to wash. I clean bottles and dress the baby.  I rock him to sleep, and soothe his fussiness at naptime.  My favorite part of the day, with baby, is kissing away his tears.

Our house is full of all kinds of books and toys for children of all ages.  While I am finishing up the last years of John's Home Education, I am grateful to have baby here to begin again.  Whether baby grows up and goes to a regular school or not is up to his Mother.  But anytime he is here, just like regular daily life at our Estate, he will always be homeschooled at Grandmother's house.


Blessings
Mrs. White




For Home-keeping Inspiration, order my book - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 


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Historic Summer Lessons at the Estate

[1936 Home Schooling in PA: Carl Mydens: Library of Congress]

With political upheaval happening all over America, our religious heritage must be taught repeatedly to the next generation.  Starting today, and during the entire month of July, I will be reading and teaching my last Home Schooled Student from Marilyn Boyer's Book, For You They Signed.  I bought this a few years ago, at a great discount from the Boyers, when I had money. It is an incredible investment.

Last Independence day, John (15) and I read The Declaration of Independence (1776) and studied all the signatures (in the beginning of Marilyn's Book).  We also read about the life of one of the signers.  It was thrilling, sad, and convicting.  This year, we will spend the month reading the entire book. This will become a tradition in our family - to remember, and to apply it to our  lives.

In this culture of endless entertainment - video games, computers, cell phones and movies, it is often hard to get students to sit still, to reflect, to concentrate and to think.  It is essential that we provide a routine of quiet study time, even if there are distractions happening all around us.  To be quiet and read despite the culture around us, is one of the greatest needs of our time.  We Home Schooling Mothers have to find a way to make it happen.

To Teach children to focus, we can play games of mental math drills, spelling drills and Bible trivia.  Many years ago, I had a group of children I was tutoring.  I also had an adjoining room full of preschoolers who were loudly playing.  The students sat in a row and had to listen to my random questions and answer as quickly as possible.  One of the children (around age 12) kept laughing and was distracted by the noise of the other children. We had fun, but I kept encouraging him and practicing with him, how to "tune out" the noise, and focus on the drills.   It was a wonderfully, productive afternoon.  We must teach our children to tune out the distractions around us, so they can learn and study essential truths.

John and I will spend a little time in the late morning, reading Marilyn's book.  We will find time in the twilight hours, and we will find time in the parlour, sitting in our antique chairs while supper is cooking. We will find the time and the concentration  to read the entire book and to reflect on the amazing Christian History of our nation.  I am sure we will be talking about it with guests and family members. It will spread, and it will infect us with courage and bravery to live God's way, even if no one else in this Country seems to.

Blessings
Mrs. White




For More information about Marilyn's book, visit her store: "For You They Signed"


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Singing Comfort to Baby

Late yesterday afternoon, I brought grandbaby out on the front porch to see the pouring rain.   Our Vermont acres looks like an English garden, or an amazing view of an Ireland landscape.  The rain was soothing and quiet.

Baby is 9 months old and is teething.  He was fussy in the house. I wanted him to be distracted by the fresh air and pretty views.  He loves my front porch. 

I sang "Amazing Grace" to him, slowly and softly, while I paced the porch.  He was happy and content.  Then I rang the bell, which is right near the sliding door on the porch.  Baby looked at me with wide eyes and then smiled.  .  . A few minutes later, one of my sons appeared from the back yard, thinking I had called him.  We laughed.  I was just showing baby the fun things at the Estate.

I sang to baby some more, about faith in the Lord, and eternal matters.  He listened and looked at me, while we walked the porch and enjoyed the rain.

I remembered when all my children were babies. I always sang to them.  "Bringing in the Sheaves;" "Trust and Obey;" "Shall we Gather at the River;"  "When the Roll is Called up Yonder;" are some of the many hymns I sang to them, over and over, throughout their babyhood and growing up years. 

There is peace and joy when one's heart is at home.  There are heavenly matters to pass on to the next generation, from a quiet heart, who isn't distracted or overly busy with outside cares.

Teaching babies about our Heavenly Father, can easily be started with simple songs, and joyful hearts.  This is the most comforting thing to little souls.

Blessings
Mrs. White





For Home-keeping Inspiration, order my book - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 


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The Homeschool Letters

My youngest student is a teenage soon-to-be man.    I have been working with him all his life, and he has made tremendous progress. This student is my only one out of five, who was learning disabled, and wasn't able to learn to read well until he was 10 years old.  It just didn't click for him until then.  Day after day, year after year, from the time he was 5, I worked with him.  Now, all these years later, he reads the KJV Bible fluently.  But we still have such a long way to go.  The difficulty is understanding our relationship.  I am his Mother. He is growing up and will be a man.  He doesn't always want to do things my way.  He sometimes senses that I am "nagging" him in our little school at home.  I must adjust.

I realized that we need to communicate in a different way.  We need a way that will work, or his education with me will not progress.    The way I have discovered is through letters.

For a student to learn, he must have time to think.  He must have time to seek out his education.  He must have time and quiet to evaluate and analyze.  He must study and solve.  How can this happen knowing his mother is hovering nearby waiting to "help?"  This is why I have backed away.  I will let him stumble and struggle while he learns the skill of learning for himself, rather than learning for me.

On each weekday morning, I have a set of letters waiting for him.  These are formal letters, with dates and indented paragraphs, and a proper signature.  The letters are instructions for the day, where to find the books he needs, and a little chart to show him a specific lesson I would have showed him in person.  He will use these letters to guide him through his homeschool day.  He will also take notes and write me back, telling me what he learned, and telling me what he needs help with.

He will also see the chalkboard, with problems and puzzles to solve.  They will appear "mysteriously" on the board because I will write them when no one is around to see me.  This adds intrigue and adventure to his learning. 

Each night, I will read his letters to me and check his books.  I will then write back, explaining problems he had trouble with, and giving him the new day's directions. 

As he learns to work all day long, without a hovering mother, he will begin to grow and think more independently.  He will acquire mighty skills he needs in order to be a man.  He will become less dependent on me.  He will also rise in wisdom and knowledge because there is a sense of intrigue in these letters and secret chalkboard puzzles, which will create in him a thirst for learning. 

These Homeschool Letters are my key to finishing the last few years of his education.  I am stepping back, while he is stepping up.   This is the last phase of my mothering of a child.


Blessings
Mrs. White



For Home-keeping Inspiration, order my book - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 


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Closing my Household Account

Throughout the year, I kept a record book of my household expenses.  The majority of entries were entered by my youngest son, John (15). I have taught him general bookkeeping by having him look over my receipts, organize them, and enter the totals of my spending. 

At this very moment, he is closing out my accounts for the year.  He is in the process of getting monthly spending totals, by looking over the handwritten entries in my old fashioned ledger book.  He is analyzing the numbers and thinking about all the different things his mother spent money on this year.

 (There is no computer doing this for him. It is an old fashioned method of thinking and seeing the history of our financial life.)

When he finishes the monthly totals, he will give me a final figure of exactly how much money I spent during the entire year. 

Tomorrow, we will set up a new household account in our ledger book. This will be for 2013. We will make plans and goals and find ways to be as economical as we can.  Since John has been working with me all year, I will seek his advice, ideas and input.    This is a very precious way for him to learn how to manage money, by helping his Mama to manage her household funds.

Blessings
Mrs. White


Great Peace - The Note in Mother's Pocket.

When Things are Going Wrong - Forgotten Kindness in Marriage.

We Took One of These - A Vow of Poverty.







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A Humble Parlour as a School of Theology

It has been said that Mothers of old time spent their leisure hours reading the Bible to their children.  These Mothers also lived a moral and virtuous life. The greatest witness of true character and holiness, are the eyes of the immediate family.

When Mother's hobby and devotion revolves entirely around the home, she has the freedom and the privilege of training her children in godliness. 

(Do we realize that this is why mothers are being pulled away from the hearth?)

I remember when my children were little. The main part of their education was Scripture. We did not  focus on memorizing some verses. We did not do short devotions or read little devotional books.   We, the children from the age of solid readers (5 and up) and I, read the entire Bible over and over again, year after year after year.

We also had some help. . .

If the children didn't know the meaning of a word, We looked to the 1800's Webster's Dictionary. This is an enormous, hardcover book that cost me well over $60.  It has thousands of pages.  The children greatly respected this treasured resource.   

If a phrase or passage confused me or the children, we looked to Matthew Henry.  Or we used the Strong's Concordance.   Later, we also added John MacArthur's study Bible to help answer our questions.

But the daily, hour by hour, readings took place using the trusty old KJV Bible.  The children sharpened their minds with those "antiquated" words.  They sharpened their reading skills and committed to memory (from repetitive reading) many precious truths.

As most of my children have grown up, I have heard and seen how they have faced "giants" of confusing doctrine. I have seen them stand their ground against unbiblical religions and people trying to convince them of another way.  And each time, these children have prevailed and stood strong, as the strongest roots of an ancient oak tree.  .  . Unbending and sure of their Faith.  While these children still struggle with their sin nature (as we all will until we reach the heavenly gates), nothing can sway them away from the lessons learned in the old parlour.  Why? Because they learned sacred, ancient truths, that have stood the test of time.

The other day, I was sitting at the parlour table.  I had my books and Bible laid out before me. One of my teenagers came by and wanted to read with me.  We looked through Scripture and looked to our "helpers" to understand passages. And we delighted in spending valuable, fleeting time, on that which was eternal. 

Our home may be old, with ripped up linoleum and cracks in the walls.  The furnishings may be torn and "dated."  We may have plain, inexpensive foods to share.  We may have a poor income.  But the time spent in my humble parlour, in my school of theology, is the greatest place this Mother could ever be.

Blessings
Mrs. White

Make it Look Like - The Maid Was Here.

What To Do When - There Isn't Much.

Joyful Homemaking with - Kitchen Sermons.




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Laboring Despite Weariness

I have often marvelled at the reserves of energy my tired husband seems to have.   He will drink coffee in the early evening so he can be awake to finish a few more chores.  I couldn't understand why he didn't just sleep and forget the extra work. 

In the last few weeks, I have been overly busy with my older children. I hosted a baby shower, had guests in my home at all times of the day, went to several events, did heavy shopping, and extra cleaning.  Somehow, I got stronger and learned to pace myself enough to get it all done.   I pushed aside distractions and wouldn't allow myself to be pulled away from the task at hand. 

My goal is to make the most of my time as a mother. (How long do I really have left?)  I want to make events special, and my home a happy haven.  This all takes a tremendous amount of behind-the-scenes labor, which is seemingly unnoticed.    Lately, I have done this all cheerfully, and have been thrilled with my daily accomplishments.

I also noticed this working in other areas of our life.  I have daily Bible time with my teenage son (he is my last homeschool student).  John and I read two chapters at each reading.    However, sometimes life gets in the way, and our time is delayed.   Last night, it had gotten so late, I mentioned that perhaps we should read only one chapter?  He gave me such a look. Like I was a slacker (smiles). And said almost sternly, almost accusingly,  "Why can't we read two?"  I was grateful for his persistence and we read the required two chapters.  We were both proud of ourselves, realizing that if we had all day for other things, why on earth would we skip the daily religious disciplines?

My children watch Mr. White and I work hard on a daily basis. They see us quietly laboring without complaint.  They watch as we do difficult things despite weariness.  They also see us enjoy our rests and the fruit of our labor.  This example in life, and in religious duties, helps our children learn to work despite the hard times.  It teaches them to persevere, but to also come alongside and help us when we start failing. 

If I gave in to my "tiredness" and slept as much as I wish I could, what kind of life would I be portraying to those around me?    To work hard each day, and yes to earn my rest, is one of the best examples I can give to my children.

Blessings
Mrs. White

The Warmth of Home - The Light in the Window.

Remembering - The Blessing of Being a Half-Southern Mama.

Let All Godly Homes be like - The Mission House.


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The 15 Minute Cleaning Helper

I like to be fair about chores. When my children were little, they were each assigned certain tasks each day.  One was The Breakfast Hostess. Another was in charge of cooking supper.  And another had to keep the living room clean.  Each of my 5 children had specific work to do each day.

When I was growing up, our heavy cleaning happened on Saturday.  I was responsible for cleaning the bathtub, sweeping down the porch stairs and dusting the living room.  I also had daily responsibilities. But each of these jobs, divided between family members, kept our house fairly  neat and tidy.

No house is going to be clean all the time.  We will always have chores. We will always need to prepare food, clean our clothes, and sweep. But things can be kept decent when we have helpers.

As children get older, they have more outside activities and projects going on.  They are also less likely to want to hang around with Mom (smiles) and do housework all day.  So yesterday, I decided to call my teenage son over and tell him I needed him for just 15 minutes.  This was extra work, over and above his normal daily chores. 

I set the timer, and we worked quickly. He helped me sort old clothes, throw out extra clutter, do some laundry, and deep clean our dish-drainer.   I was delighted with the extra help and was happy to get a few piled up things accomplished.

Today, I plan to have another 15 minute cleaning burst with some of the children.  It makes things more fun.   I have a list of things I want cleaned and will put it on the kitchen table.  Each of us can pick and choose what we want to do. Once the work is finished, we are to put a check mark next to the job and then write down our initials (so we know who did what).  When I tried this stunt recently, my son did far more work than I did, and was gloating.

Another thing I like to do is have cleaning contests with my grown daughter.  (She lives 2 hours away from me.)  We call each other on the phone and then talk about what we are dreading for overdue housework.  Today, we decided to deep clean our bathrooms.  I am supposed to call her this afternoon and discuss our progress.  However, I had some extra energy early this morning and already finished!   

Finding creative ways to make housework fun is one of the greatest things we can do as mothers.

Other than doing a 15 minute cleaning job with my teenagers this afternoon, I think I deserve the rest of the day off from heavy cleaning duty.  I will just relax and plan a nice leisurely supper tonight.  I hope your day goes well!

Blessings
Mrs. White

Need encouragment on extreme thrift?  My favorite book is "We Had Everything but Money."


When I realized I was overworking my children - A Cheerful and Willing Housekeeper.

Looking Back - When Television was Special.

Remembering my childhood Home - Saturday Morning Chores.

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Cleaning House

Book - Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement

Author - Kay Wills Wyma

Publisher - Waterbrook Press

Paperback, 278 pages

I was so excited to hear about this book.   Many families, in today's culture, are catering to their kids in a way that is harmful to their work ethic.  This generation is fast becoming the worst "me" generation ever created. Kay has found that a large part of this is caused by we mothers who serve and care for our children, too much; while expecting less and less from them.  Children need to work around the house, learn responsibility, and stop being waited on.  She explains that mothers tend to interfere with a child's need to learn from their own mistakes. Her insights are brilliant and make the reader want to cheer!

I love how Kay struggles with procrastination and inconsistencies.  Yet, she forced herself to do this experiment with her children. This will encourage many readers who have trouble staying on top of things.   The fact is, any effort towards teaching children a healthy work ethic, is better than no effort at all.

In this book, Kay describes the events which led to this radical experiment.  There are 12 chapters which cover 12 specific tasks she expected from her children.  Her sense of humor, mingled with her resolve to get the job done makes this a wonderfully enjoyable read.

Some of the tasks she expected from her children include things like:  Cooking, cleaning bathrooms, laundry, maintenance, hospitality and much more. She tells us how it all went down in her house, and gives us hope for our own homes at the same time.

Kay is the mother of five children, ages 4 to 14.  She is a college graduate, and formerly worked with The White House. She lives in Texas with her husband and children.  Read more from Kay - She writes at The Moat Blog.


*Disclosure - I received this book  for review purposes.*

To find out more about my commercial breaks, please see my disclosure page.

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Mrs or Miss and Other Titles of Respect

In ballet class, the students are required to call their teacher "Miss" and then her first name. This shows classical respect. This was also common manners when I was a child. A Friend who visited was called "Miss Annie."

If it was a very close family friend, one who was beloved, she was given the title of "Aunt." I had a few "Aunts" who seemed like they were part of our family. I would not have ever dreamed of calling them by their first names without using the title "Aunt."  (My own children have a dearly loved "Uncle" who is my husband's closest friend.)

We had visitors from the south in summer. The small children would call me "Ma'am" even though I was their cousin. It was because I was their elder.  Have you ever heard a sweet child with a southern accent call an eleven year old, "Ma'am"? It is precious!  The children would never say a simple "no" or "yes" without a "Ma'am" or "Sir" when speaking to the older generation. It was common courtesy. (The adults responded the same way, as an example, by saying "Ma'am" and "Sir" as well.)

In those days, the world was family - centered and adult  - centered. Children were cherished, but were taught to give up a seat for an older person. When company came, they would gladly give up their bedroom for the guest. The children would sleep on "pallets," or blankets, on the living room floor. They were happy with this arrangement and knew no other way.  Children looked forward to the privildge of being grown and looked forward to growing up and getting to be an honored adult.

Children were also taught to "go play" during adult conversation. Parents and visitors would talk quietly about the news of the day, or some trial in the family, so as not to upset the innocence of children. This was part of respect and manners in the home. Children did not live in the adult world. They were honored and protected as children.

One of the greatest blessings in life was to earn the title of "Mrs."  Girls were called "Miss" until they married.  I remember being called "Miss Sharon" growing up and I loved it.  There was some dignity and elegance to the title of "Miss," just like in ballet class. If I was helping in Sunday School, the little students called  me "Miss," or "Ma'am." 

 But when I became "Mrs. White" I was honored and delighted.  Suddenly I had protection, in a sense. I had a covering and a very special reason to act accordingly. I had a husband who expected me to be a lady, and an honor to his name.   Women used to proudly address themselves as "Mrs." . . . When out in the stores, they would say hello to each other by showing respect to the family and husband by saying, "Hello Mrs. Smith! How are you today?"  It brought out the grace and dignity in all. (Of course, in close, personal visits, first names were used.)

When titles are used, it brings out gallantry in gentlemen and refinement in other women. In the old days, no one scoffed at titles like they do today. This is part of the reason we have an extremely casual self-centered society. No one wants to give place to respect and honor.


In the old days, Ladies dressed like ladies. They were in skirts and dresses, not sweatshirts and sweatpants. Women and Children dressed up to go to the store, the church or out visiting. We presented ourselves in our best because this brought out the best in others.   Ladies also gave their best to their families, at home, by dressing nicely.  They did not wear ratty, casual clothes. They would wear a comfortable, but pretty, house dress with an apron over it. This meant they cared about how they looked and wanted to please their families by looking sweet and pleasant. They were also ready to greet unexpected guests. This does not mean they were in their Sunday Best, but they looked nice and were not embarrassed when someone came by. This carried into their homes.

When we use Titles and Have Respect and know the place and the value of Manners, we not only look nice, but our homes look nice. We also treat others in a more civil, kind way. We respect the family, the institution of marriage and the love of home.

One of my greatest wishes is that they would do away with the term "Ms." because it brings confusion. Originally, we know that Miss means unmarried and Mrs. means married. Why then the term of "Ms."?   I would also love if unisex clothing went out of fashion.  I would love if our town and our state and our county realized the potential for traditional royalty and started to act accordingly. Truly this would trickle down to our children and succeeding generations and bring more pride and love for values and manners.

Recently I saw a picture of a modern family. It was a Husband and Wife with all their children. They were dressed up and smiling.  Even though they looked lovely, I could sense a casualness to them. I contrasted this with an early 1900's historic photograph (in black and white) of my grandfather when he was a small boy. His siblings and parents were also in the picture. The dignity and pride came through in their stature and poise. Their clothing was amazing, even though they were far from rich. This was the traditional family of which I speak. This is where titles and manners and customs of the old days brings out the richness of our heritage.

If only more ladies were proud of being called "Aunt" or "Miss" and thought it endearing. If only neighbors and friends were commonly called, with a sweet smile, "Mrs."  If only children were taught to give up their seat for their elders and learned to honor them with titles.  While the adults, likewise, protected their innocence and taught them by example.  Maybe we could recapture the joy of family and understand that royalty and dignity is possible, once again, in this great nation.

Blessings
Mrs. White

* One of the original sources for good manners is from classic  Emily Post's Etiquette book.

The Way of the Old Days - Building our Homes with Little Money.

A Precious Sermon - The Godly Home, Marriage and Family.

What do you Think? - Do We Really Care About our Homes?

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Building a Strong Work Ethic in Our Children

Mr. White and I come from blue-collar, working class families in suburban towns south of Boston. We both grew up working around the house, working in the yard, and working in our neighborhoods.

I don't remember my parents giving me spending money. But I always remember working for those extra things I wanted in life. I used to walk at least one mile every day to elementary school, and then later to the bus stop for the higher level schools. When I was in high school, I walked several miles a day (yes, even in winter). This was part of the work ethic. This was part of learning not to depend on others for things we should be doing for ourselves. Of course, this was before we feared crime, as this current culture has to worry about. This was when neighbors knew neighbors, knew your parents and watched out for all the kids. This was when communities were stable and safe. It was before broken homes became rampant and people moved in and out of neighborhoods faster than we could get to know them.

There was a tiny store on the corner near our school. Everyday, we kids would stop in there to get a drink, an ice cream or a little candy. We would use our own money. This was earned babysitting, doing yard work,  and selling papers or magazine subscriptions.

When I got older, I worked at a few companies. This provided me with money for clothes, the movies, or eating at restaurants. All my friends worked for their money too. Even though we lived in a relatively wealthy community, we all had a strong work ethic. Our parents didn't give us our spending money. We all earned it.

When I met my husband, at the age of 17, I was working as a secretary in a marine insurance agency, right near the water. It was a lovely place and a great job. Clients would come in to pay their insurance premiums for their yachts. I was surrounded by wealth and privilege but I still worked for what I had, as we all did. None of us thought the rich clients had a free ride. We all knew they worked for what they had.

When I became engaged, I quit my job and started to prepare for a family of my own. Mr. White and I had a contract and I never had to work (at a job) again. Both of us still worked hard, but in different ways. Me at home, and him at a job. This example to our children was invaluable.

When we started to have children, we taught them the value of money and the value of hard work. They had ways of earning money around the house and helping me with any home-business I had undertaken for their sake. Part of homeschooling, over the years, was learning to be productive, and how to run a business.

Later, we bought a country store. Our children, from as young as 5 years old, worked to help us in our business. They had plenty of opportunities to earn money by working for us.  

When the children were very young, I gave them extra work around the house everyday. This was optional work and paid anywhere from 5 cents to 25 cents. They thought this was a fortune and eagerly earned their spending money. I still remember the pride Rachel (now 24, but then 5 years old) had when we walked into a little restaurant to pick up our take-out order. She wanted to buy herself a drink and used her own money. She looked at her little sister and said, "I worked hard for that money!" I could tell the lessons were sinking in.  And while others, at times, would scoff that I required the children to work, they cannot deny that my children all have a strong work ethic. These children are dependable and reliable and put in a good day's work.

This is the blue -collar working class. These are the kind of values that made America strong.  Sadly, children of today don't understand about delayed gratification. They want everything before they earn the money to buy it. This is dangerous to their own livelihood and for our society.  One of the greatest things we mothers can teach our children, is to wait and to work and to save, and then to spend. But never before the money is earned. . . Never.

Blessings
Mrs. White


The Lovely Things We Do At Home - Domestic Occupations.

A Little Visit - The Parlour in the Morning.

You Don't Have to Be Rich - The Humble Home.




For Home-keeping Inspiration, order my book - For The Love of Christian Homemaking. 









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Manners Learned at The Finishing School

I attended a homemade finishing school. This was conducted a few times a month with the assistance of my Aunt. She lived in a lovely house a few streets over from us.  Her house was decorated with elegant paintings, beautiful lamps and lovely furniture. She had a guest room with white bedroom furniture, a rose colored lamp, end-tables and gorgeous shades on the windows. There was even a large vanity mirror above the dresser.

My sister and I were invited to sleep over her house.  She would set our hair in rollers, then settle us in the guest room. She would open the door just a bit, and say, "Do you girls need anything?" We were so comfortable in the soft beds, and warm, expensive blankets, that we felt like royalty. She was an excellent, patient hostess. I never saw her rushing about.

In the morning, we would get all dressed up and go out to breakfast.  The first restaurant I remember was across from the harbor in a lovely Massachusetts town.  Auntie taught us how to sit up straight, order our food, and place a napkin on our laps. She told us which silverware to use and how to act like ladies. This was all done as if there was all the time in the world.

This went on for many years. Then, as we got older and started to move on, we girls were busier and didn't have much time for our "informal" lessons.  My sister and I had a different schedule. We weren't together as often. On occasion, as I was walking to the high school bus stop, in the early morning hours, my Aunt would be on her way to work.  She would stop and pick me up.  This was the first time in my life I ever heard classical music. It was calming and soothing. She would listen to this on her way to the city, where she would take the subway, or ferry, into Boston for the day's work.

At other times, she would invite me to breakfast. My favorite place was called "Mug 'n Muffin," which was a high class cafe in the plaza.  The lights were dim. The tables were dark mahogany, and the booths were burgundy leather. I always ordered the same thing - A hot chocolate with whipped cream, and a warm chocolate chip muffin served on a delicate plate. I ate this with a fork, as if it was a delicious  pastry one could order in a French restaurant. During our little visit in the cafe, we would talk about our days and upcoming plans. 

Auntie had family parties at her house. We always dressed up for these. She had a finished basement, where a table was set up with a tablecloth. There were all kinds of wonderful things  to eat and drink lined up for the guests.  It was always family, and perhaps a friend or two.  We enjoyed these gatherings so much!  We would walk throughout the house, visiting everyone in the different rooms depending on who was where. Perhaps a cousin was in the formal living room. Or an Uncle in the kitchen talking to Dad and Mom.   There were usually a few small children who entertained us with their antics. But even they were dressed in their best!

Auntie had stories of travelling. I was most fascinated with her trip to Italy.  She once gave me a gorgeous pair of white, long leather gloves which she bought while abroad. I cherish them!

And while this all might sound even more interesting when reminiscing, it was really just we girls, spending time with our Aunt through our growing up years. I don't think she even realized she was the very source of our education in manners, or that she was our teacher in a homemade finishing school.

Blessings
Mrs. White

A photograph of our Vermont House - The Purple Parlour.

Nourishing the Soul - Kitchen Sermons.

When things are rough for the older ones - Childhood Home as the Nursery.



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