When Mother Feels Unappreciated

I am shaking this morning. I am weak and weary on this path of life. But I am in good spirits. I know where my source of comfort lies.

I worked very hard yesterday, while the family was all at home. I cleaned and baked and cooked and visited. It was taxing on my fragile body. I remember standing over the stove in the late afternoon and stirring the food in a pan. I was shaking then. I thought to myself, "I am too old for this." I didn't feel young or energetic anymore. I did not have the endurance to do basic things. Then I thought of my own mother, with a crown of silver and a cane in her hand, and how she still cooks, even if she is shaking. (gentle smiles)

I asked my teenagers for help.  They were occupied in the parlour, laughing and visiting and didn't understand my need for help. They had already done so much for me.  It would have been easy for me to burst into tears (like a small, tired child) and collapse into a chair, but I prayed a little prayer and smiled, and said tenderly, "I just need a little help." One of them smiled and came to my assistance.  I realize they see me, a picture of health, but don't have any idea of the deafness, the blindness, the aches, the shaking that goes on in this old mother.  When they grumble and complain about helping (like all normal children), they know not what they do.  They think mother is a tireless saint who can work miracles in the home and kitchen.

I once read about the troubles of Elizabeth Prentiss(1800's), in one of her books. She wrote about her struggle with frail health and how her children would gather around her for stories, or help,  but they would elbow her and nudge her and cause her pain - unknowingly. It "cost her" dearly to be a mother, but was worth every bit of pain.

Patricia St. John,in her autobiography, spoke highly of her mother. She talked about how she and her siblings would giggle and laugh and make fun, at times, when her mother tried to teach them the Bible.  Looking back she realized they had caused her heartache. That mother was greatly admired for her patience and loving guidance, despite the trouble.

There are many moments when I feel unappreciated. My greatest weapon to fight this dark thought, is to smile and to pray and to keep going. . . I have already seen the fruits of my efforts, in my grown children, who are tender and loving and helpful. When they grow up, they no longer think as children. They are no longer focused on self, or unaware of the pain of others. This is why I love the Biblical prayer, "Remember not the sins of my youth." It comforts me to think of that in relation to my teens. They know not what they do.

But most of all, my never-ending goal is to be like the mother in Loretta Lynn's song, "The Coal Miner's Daughter." This mother did not grumble, despite poverty, hard work, and constant cares. Loretta summed it up in one simple phrase, "To complain there was no need. She'd smile in Mommy's understanding way."

I have been greatly encouraged by the writings of Mother Teresa.  This quote, in particular, is the solution to feeling unappreciated:

"In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."



Blessings
Mrs. White


The Difficult Times - Chronically Ill Homeschooling Mothers.

Very Bad Days of Motherhood - Trouble with Teenagers.

What my Precious Son did - Presents to Cheer Me Up.

A Look at a Life-Long Marriage - Are you still Tricking your Wife?



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The Sum of Godly Motherhood

Someone asked Mother Teresa if she ever got discouraged working with the poor in Calcutta. They wondered if seeing no success in her daily tasks ever made her feel like she wasn't doing worthwhile work. Her answer was that she was not called to a mission of success, but a mission of mercy - a mission of work.

I see this as what we mothers are doing in the home. We are laboring in difficult fields, training and caring for our children. Sometimes we encounter stubbornness, willfulness and foolish decisions, as our children learn and grow into adulthood.  They don't see all the work we do behind the scenes - we struggle with drought, too much rain, wildlife and a multitude of weeds who come in and try to destroy our crops. We toil in these fields on a daily basis and often we don't see success. We wait. . . and we pray. . . and we beg God to give us patience and mercy so that we can continue on each day. But we rarely see our results until many years later.

The Bible says that children rise up and call their virtuous Mother blessed. Often, those same children do not  realize the sacrifice and toil and prayers that went into all her work. They also don't realize all she did, through all those years, as she submitted to God in her work, with all trust and faith, that these very acts, helped create the virtuous character she possesses in her old age.

Blessings
Mrs. White
(Written on a borrowed computer)

The Very difficult days - No Income and the Basics of Life.

With tears - To Encourage the Downcast Housewife.

The Joy of Charity - The Good Deed Money.

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